This is how I'm feeling right now.
I feel like my world is spinning around and around and around and I'm JUST managing to hold on for the ride. Everywhere I turn there is something else I 'should' be doing, somewhere else I 'have' to be, someone else I 'must' please. Somewhere in all this, I get lost. I lose myself and feel like I'm spiralling...and then something clicks and I start climbing the rope again, pulling myself out of the hole that I feel like is my life at times!
I guess this is part of the whole depression thing that has been a part of my world since having PND with my last baby. I am so proud that I am in control of this and got myself off my meds earlier this year, but put this down to totally being diet & exercise based...feeling it in my mood when these factors are out of whack and pulling myself back into line when I need it. Only I can pick myself up, brush myself off and get myself back to where I need to be for myself and my family.
Sometimes I feel like people don't understand just how busy I am...not that they have to but its something I think about. I don't REALLY care about what anyone else thinks...but I just need to get this down on paper (or blog screen, whatever!) so I have a bit of a handle on just how much myself and my family are doing right now, and also to look back in years to come and remember just WHY I felt like my life was manic!
Me, Sar, aka Mum -
~ work 3 days per week (full days)
~ run my online scrapbooking business (involving stock, orders, kits each month, forum, gallery, facebook posts, newsletters, let alone the paperwork which is so totally and disgustingly behind right now)
~ exercise most days (usually 4-5 gym sessions on a good week & walking/running 3-4 days)
~ dancing mum (take girls to studio two days a week, practice 2-3 dances with them each day, eisteddfods some weekends)
~ playgroup with my girls every Monday morning
Dan, my hubby, aka Dad -
~ works nightshift four days a week
~ involved in mines rescue (lots of training, comps, time at the station, time away)
~ studying for his Undermanagers (time for this is lacking right now)
~ school pickup every single day of the week after only 6hrs sleep per day (god love him)
~ footy/oztag two days per week (coaches Cooper's team)
~ takes Georgia to dancing one day per week (while I'm at work)
Cooper, my boy, 7yo -
~ five days at school
~ two afternoons at oztag/footy
~ cricket on Saturday mornings
~ Nippers on Sunday mornings
~ usual homework, news, reading etc that comes with being in 1st class
Georgia, my eldest daughter, 4yo -
~ 6 dance classes per week (including private for ballet & jazz solos)
~ preschool two days per week
Bronte, my baby girl, 3yo -
~ 2 dance classes per week (including private for jazz solo)
~ preschool two days per week
And this is before my Georgia starts school next year and things get even more hectic with double the home readers, homework etc coming home.
Somedays I wonder how I do it...and this list only really shows the things I HAVE TO DO - let alone the other factors of my life including scrapbooking (what is that again, when did I last scrap?!), socialising with friends (which is of major importance to me), watching True Blood with my hubby (yep, addicted!!), facebook (lol!). There is no downtime in my life really, no rest, no relaxation...who has time for that??
I guess what I want to know is this....is EVERYONE this busy? Does everyone have commitments every single day of the week and wonder just when things are going to slow down? I feel like my life is passing me by at a rate of knots...and there is not a thing I can do about it!
Your thoughts? Would love to hear from you!
Holy cow girlfriend!!!! I feel exhausted just reading that!!! I remember being that busy when I was working full time( 5 1/2 days a week) and the girls were doing gymnastics, with training 12 hours a week and comps out of town every other weekend. Thank god we cut back on both of these things. You know how I feel about spending as much time with them as you can.....one day they don't need mummy as much and you just have to sit back and watch them live their lives.
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oh yep, I totally know how you feel! It's like I'm just keeping my head above water most of the time, and if I slow down for a second, I'll drown, lol. With the kids swimming/dancing/karate/ music/art lessons, there is only 1 day a week that we are home before 5pm, and then it's a race to fit in homework and everything else before they have to go to bed. Once they are in bed I try to get housework done, so I can just focus on work stuff while they are at school, but there never seems to be enough time to get everything done. Throw trying to study and being a single mum into that too, and it doesn't leave much time for anything else! At least I can watch True Blood during the day while I'm making stuff, so that's a bonus :) I really miss scrapping but I just don't have the time anymore :( And I really shouldn't be on the comuter right now when I have work to do!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you manage sometimes. I remember a time when I was crazy busy and stressed to the max! Not so much now as I have learnt that I had to let go of something just to stay sane. But that's me and we all handle stress differently. I have to say since starting back at work 2 days a week, my scrapbooking has suffered - bigtime - and I know I could spend more time on it if I really wanted to but that time with my boys at the end of the day would suffer... I guess it's always a bit of a juggle and we have some weeks that are busier than others (and some when I feel like a single mum) and I have to say that running is my saviour. Running is my time out and my me time. Without it, I think I'd go crazy! Have I even made any sense?! To sum up, you are amazing, Sar! What a year... you've done so well getting back into exercising and the lifestyle you want to live. I am so proud!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone I have 4 monkeys aged 11, 9, 7, and 2 and am constantly running around like a headless chook! Hubby is in the armed forces and so his working hours vary from 9 hours per day to 14 or even more sometimes and the occaisional weekend and that is when he is home lol so I am a part time single mum. I have had depression since I was pregnant with little man (pre-natal then post and now just plain depression) so it can make it harder to keep motivated.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is as the kids get older they become a little more self reliant and you will gradually get 5 mins back here and there . Hang in there :)
Wow, you are super busy but I think it's like this for lots of us. I do a lot of running Kate around to dance and Grace to drama but our weekends are the time we get to chill out and slow down. We have to do this for Grace or she doesn't cope with the school week. I think it does get easier as they get older as they can help more and are less dependent on you. Take care xx
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